Why do people even bother Let me grieve in my silent sunder Rope, water, knives Leave many ways behind To leave all in their world of blinded bliss I tried and fought The suicidal thoughts But it was in vain I had lost Everything Children Laugh Children Play But I am lost in dismay The pills are ready Here, within my grasp Here, finally at long last I write this poem Not for u But for me When I do myself through