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Feeling (Free verse) by chicka_babe05

The touch of your eyes make me feel so good and knowing that I can always count on you I know God gave me this reason that I should the feeling when I'm around you Knowing I'm not in the state of selfhood this sensation I have when I'm with you The feeling can't be withstood the feeling that I want to be known to you I hope you could have the same feeling when I say, "I love you"

razorgrin 4-Feb-03/10:34 AM
"state of selfhood"? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Seriously, though, your eloquent and moving use of "you" to rhyme with "you" shall surely put you solidly into our grand poetic tradition. You may even dethrone shakespeare! One thing, though: wouldn't the touch of someone's eyes be all squishy and gooey? Not to mention painful for the other person. Lastly, leave God out of this poeme. I asked the big guy, YH-to-the-VH about you and he said, "Never heard of her." Then he fell back asleep. However, the archangel Jibreel did say that you deserve a zero for this lump of solidified porcupine smegma. Who am I to defy divine will




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