1.) Convincing my son that Spider Man does not wear his shoes to bed at night. 2.) Convincing George Bush that he is not Spider Man on any given night. Shoes or not. 3.)Shaving Sadam's mustache off while wearing a dead president's mask and humming the Spider Man theme song. 4.) Explaining to Osama Bin Laden that Peter Parker shouldn't grow a beard because, it would ruin the shape of his face in disguise. 5.)Coming clean to Spider Man about the fact that he is only half Jewish, if that, and too young to save the planet. 6.)Proposing to the Kurds that Spider Man wont steal or harm their goats in the name of Democracy and oil. He's on their team. 7.) Convincing an entire nation of dumb asses (A third of which still believe that God created the earth a couple thousand years ago) to take their intense interest off of Afghanistan and onto Iraq. So that the U.S. GOV's current activities in the land of the poppies will go unnoticed. Did you even notice how they did that? Slick huh. from drugs to oil, just like that (finger snap) 8.) Watching Spider Man ear fuck Captain America while pouring used motor oil done his throat. Then pimping him out on the streets with a brownstone urge and a handful of Spider Man comics still in their plastic covers. Even the Hulk couldn't save us now.