-=SeTTle=-10 Jul 2002

Wow looks like I've influenced you quite a bit. Good work. This poem is great, I liked it a lot. It demonstrates and illustrates a feeling which can't be demonstrated directly, the sort of hazyness that is paired with thoughts of this nature. I would like it if it was a bit clearer - the "not yet" carries some weight but not quite enough. On the other had, the "not yet" is good since it doesn't bring any other entities into play, it simply marks one's place in time. I'd have investigated something more externally verbal, like "wait for it", that is, if I wrote this sort of poetry.