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early morning write (Other) by crimzon

Waiting for the usual sunrise to display its lovely hues To peak above the pine trees and say the day is new. The sun is belated today Rousing the ever patient night so the moon awakes the sun stealing its blanket of twilight. Realizing its procrastination the tired sun begins to rise and the world now comes alive with aesthetically painted skies.

nentwined 26-Jan-03/7:06 AM
this stumbles for me near 'belated', or perhaps 'today' -- one syllable too many?

ever patient should by hyphenated, I think.

"stealing its blanket of twilight" doesn't quite scan right, either.

I like this a lot, though. 8.




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