Replying to a comment on:

To Kiss (Free verse) by Jody Conn

A languid kiss on swollen lips A glistening pouting flower This honey- scented hooded bud I savor at any hour Like wonderful wine with flavor divine Such moist and marvelous bliss All desires and dreams fulfilled This treasure now mine to kiss jc062001

Bachus 13-Dec-02/3:38 PM
horus8 is preparing for a coors light audition, Ranger, so i will be speaking on his behalf, first off, the poem is a sure dandy, but the serial number at the bottom unless it means June, 2001 by jody conn (which it does whoops!) so back to first off again ah...i don't think 'jody' needs any constructive criticism..i believe that she has a fine grasp on her writing and is aware of what she's doing, so back to why horus8 hated the poem in is words "cheesy vagina banter best left for dike bars or a stage performance of the vagina monolouges" here is it's male coonter part in two minutes using two of my five last braincells [To Blow (free verse) by Bachus

A hard blow on whithered shaft.
A lackluster sobbing rod.
This turd-scented naked pud.
I suck by the hour.
Like pittiful piss with tasteless dour.
Such hard and dispicable horror.
All lust and visions abandoned.
This Richard (dik) never ours to blow.

BFD122002

but now feeling exhausted from the strain of writing that equally inspiring piece, Ranger...i will nap..here's a ten for your earnest..hopes, dreams, sense of justice..merry christmas.10! <for the amount of layers involved in it all well the two layers, anyway>




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001