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When Im Gone (Free verse) by New Life Drug

[still working on this one] When I'm gone Make Sure you take the pictures 1.Nestle them safe in a box 2.Throw in the Pacific Ocean Make sure you dont read my notebook 1.Simply burn the awful words 2.Scatter in the Puget Sound Be careful to take my teddy bear 1.Kiss him gently from my childhood 2.Place on my early grave Be sure to make use of my old room 1. Rent it out 2. Make it a guest room I dare you not to leave my things in the dust I couldnt stand to leave them untouched Just lying there... After I'm Gone And tell my friends I loved them 1. find the people who were important to me 2. speak softly Oh imagine The poor furniture, lying in the still The spiders and winter air, on my window sill Leave the shutters closed Just because I'm gone it doesnt mean that sunlight should come in like you always wanted it to.

Caducus 11-Dec-02/10:01 AM
the last line almost ruined it for me, i hate flow interuption !
Okay then had my moan ! this could be REALLY good, you put a good slant on the philosophy of death and this simmers with empathy, its a real thought provoker so you've touched on a good subject, however carry on working on it, get rid of the numbering as it sucks, I wanna read this again when you finished it. And geez you gotta finish this, resubmit the baby for more feedback, zzinnia, gods wife, poeat and knowit, horus8, tintag intransit, and many more may occasionally criticise but they are crystal muses of help.




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