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Night-mare (Free verse) by INTRANSIT

It used to be her and Contradiction. Then there was Romance. A window in time is closing and she feels sexy in Victorias secret. Tonight, she slips into satin and tears.

Caducus 21-Nov-02/3:25 AM
This isn't as thought provoking and evocative as Dale, though I compare unfairly, I always find your work interesting and this is good but it needs something more. I feel this is a more emotional voyeuristic effort rather than stright from the heart.
It sounds like a middle piece lacking a beginning and an end, you normally set the scene so pictorially and it was only a drag of a cuban rather than the full George Burns. Work on it, give it more oooomphhh. ( vote holded for moment )




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