god'swife26 Oct 2002

First of all I'd like to say congradulations on falling in love for the first time. Your poem is young, considering the source it would be unusual if it weren't. The first rule you need to learn is, Don't tell me, show me. In other words, describe describe describe. To tell or depict. Were where you when you were scared. Lonely. HOW did she help. Literally. Don't make things up tell the truth in nauseating detail. Then you can learn how to transform it into poetry. Your poem is all skeleton. No flesh.