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Bleeding V2 (Free verse) by INTRANSIT

Hoooweee! What a scam. What a deal! The line smoothes his Armani necktie pointing to the fine printed showroom billboard. "And there'll never be another deal like this one"! Meanwhile, his cronies finesse our finances as he leads us to the sinker pencils freshly leadened to carry us to the bottom. And let's not forget the hook, teeth shiney clean, who showed us the little guy across the street and what kind of junk he was selling. What an opening gambit. What happens when this contract goes full term? Oh, we'll still be here. A fish, strung up with all the others attracting bears.

Christof 17-Oct-02/7:08 AM
Doesn't everyone like Mercs? Also, they are the most common car of choice for Arabian dictators and American moneymen alike. To be honest, I didn't pick up on the 'war on Iraq' slant - now I see the relevance of the 3000 souls though. I think this does need a bit of work, you need to make your satire clearer and more biting. 'Cos at the moment it reads to me like an indictment of capitalism. I'm all for that sort of thing but it obviously isn't what you intend.




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