INTRANSIT14 Oct 2002

I like the transition from sadness to happiness.Um, your still telling,not showing. Instead of using a season directly(winter), try being more specific. I.E. Compare your feeling of sorrow to a frozen lake. Compare your happiness to the smoldering coals of a fire not yet fully extinguished. You want your feeling to be worse (or better) than anyone elses, so exaggerate the feeling, this helps grab your audience. Did you knock a knuckle on the counter? Then make it sound as if you slammed your hand in a friggin CAR DOOR! See the diff? Keep going, you're gaining on it.6 I'm gonna make you work for it.