JakeBike9 Oct 2002

you have made her an object. she is a living, breathing person, as are you. she is not to be worshipped as an idol. she is to be respected as a friend, if she choses to befriend you. you are equals. in your poem, you would cage her, and save her sweet song for your ears alone. you are a prison guard, not a soldier. that is what you will do wrong. not to mention the narrow range of thought expressed int these words. stretch. compare. condense. don't be so obvious. why would anyone want to be with a sap? give her words of mystery. give her breadth and depth. you have made her a servant without her freedom.