Replying to a comment on:

Unveiled (Free verse) by aperfecttool77

I wake every morning living a lie All thoughts and dreams about you by my side My mind is conquered and ravaged by thoughts of something I might never have -And you know this too. I hide the truth behind this veil of tranquility everyone witnesses Only adding to my sorrow -And you know this too. So much I want to say to you, but I lack the words to say it You leave me breathless I???d give it all for one taste of the life I may never live -And you know this too. What about what I want to know? Do you still feel like you once did? Will there ever be a you and me? -And you know this too. I will love you forever and always But never can I tell you this Because I don???t want you to experience this hell that I do. -This, you may never know.

OneFingerAnswer 23-Sep-02/11:33 PM
What is wrong with a straight foreward presentation of the way one feels? Lack of metaphor and such do not ban a writing from being a poem.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001