Replying to a comment on:

the only thing worse than living (revised, liberated) (Free verse) by Bill Z Bub

the only thing worse than living is the drone of unhooked phone. get stoned, and find that warm spot by the heater. an unexpected note and simple handshake are profound. death will come anyway, so wash out that wound, listen to the sound of morning traffic and don't forget to smash that asshole in the face when he comes around to collect.

nentwined 5-Mar-09/9:51 PM
I think the shift at the last is kind of necessary for where it's aiming, but agree it misses the mark.

Overall the thing's too random for me, but it has some good stuff going on.

Still, why the weird spacing? Am I missing something, or is that just how you were "grooving" at the time?




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001