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Disillusioned & Confused (Pimple) by Sigh'ense...

An adolescent sculptured by a misled society. With truth I dig myself from a grave Cratered by this world's seemingly moral depriving propriety. I propose a proposition, That propels in opposition To the common definition: Of Life as a young black man on Earth I am no longer a victim Of this planetary system, But a messenger to those who listen. A victor over poisonous curriculum. The difference: I am blessed with deliverance, As a result of my daily considerance. Still, to many just alike drown in ignorance. Contaminated minds, suppressed in psychological shackles, As the fetus of innocence is devoured by hypocritical jackals. Left with a mentality ruptured and spackled With false prospects of our purpose... On purpose! And it is accepted that no light shall surface. So my global siblings remain in darkness, Filthily dissolved... Unable to decipher health from harm, As if to be young in life is to crippled... To put it simple. Da1 Osborne

nentwined 5-Mar-09/9:40 PM
angsty and doesn't scan well.

nit: "to many just" -> "too many just" (I think?)

I really like "the fetus of innocence is devoured by hypocritical jackals". I could do with that metaphor being developed further throughout. As it is, things feel scattershot. I'm not too into collage, visually or poetically.




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