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The Taking (Free verse) by Skamper

I Said No i said no then I Quivered

Skamper 19-Nov-07/6:56 PM
I hear what your saying - but inverting lines 1 and 2 would put a different emphasis on the progress of seduction. I think maybe a longer pause between line 2 and then, followed by the long pause again...

don't you think -then- speaks of what lays between the quieter 'no' to the ultimate compliance? I feel leaving -then- out hurries it along




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