<some month in 1999> scribbles...i start the entry... Now that the book has come to a close And no one remembers the do's and don'ts I must still linger, for my pen is poised Extension of fingers and tasty little boys Hollywood has turned me into him So full of hatred and wasted slim But I'm going to fold him up to pack With Jared Leto's severed arm i beat the beast back..... Back i cry veiled whore of Babel, back you to Mecca! <narration of a memory> After evacuating the american embassy in Mogadishu with seal-team 2. (the first and last time i've ever seen a mob of 10,000 mind starved sun blackened zombies rip a human a-part. Then dance happy to candy the mouths of children, only to stop all at once....and forehead the ground in prayer... oh ye are truly..a god fearing people. "Why don't we fucking shoot them now?" "leuitenant?, FUCK! give me the order sir!, those roofed gun men are praying..everyones praying FUCK ! GIVE ME THE ORDER!" Silence...... (yes, we are a paper tiger) two weeks later..... I decided, for some r&r, it would be nice to visit Mecca and walk counter clock wise around their shrine, then ass fuck as many naughty arabian daughters that i could influence with a fistfull of dollars. Make them bathe me, and reload to light my hooka i merrily did just that but.. bad, bad dreams came at night in the form of blood splashed children being trampled by their own relatives in the dirtiest streets that i've ever seen..... <flash-back in a flash-back> mother is painting...i am five..."will you marry me mother"? She smiles, then whips me bloody elbowed back to sleep "yes"..she says..over and over and under the earlobe of fever... <end- of flash back in the flash-back> <now, this date,the present> "What"? "That's not funny, or valid".. "What the fuck does any of this have to do with Mecca"? asked my findfamiliar while tarring his pud.. SILENCE...you chastising imp...let me get there at my own pace... ye wasteful foul mouthed critter! <back to the original flash-back> "SIR!","LET ME TAKE THE SHOT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" again..nothing..silence the mob springs back to its feet mortars and bullets by the millions wiz by. A wall explodes sending pieces of bricked mud deep into my skin.... concussion..BOOM!, BOOM!, BOOM! i fly through the air and land hard on my hands and knees.. The Lt. is twitching and babbling as blood pumps six feet in the air from his severed arm.. MEDIC!, FUCK!, MEDIC! he bleeds to death appologizing to no one in particular.. i hate him and love him symbioticaly.. as bullets wiz by, and heli's touch down to evacuate.. i have never ran from anything in my life.. why don't we fight? what the fuck is going on here? i am almost twenty years old.... b-day.. days away thankyou..yes..thankyou.. for nothing, but a nation of finks.. happy birthday...son another card from my uncle sam.. my tongue is bleeding profusely.. fuck it.. i bite down harder as tears fall..fall...i'm falling away... i catch a pepsi advertisement off in the distance.. i laugh my self into a cat-nap-nod while we fly high over this wicked Somalian city back to our desert base.. my heart is broken..i am broken..the world is broken.. i will never be a skipping home little boy again. <back to my hotel room in mecca> <i am writing more, and more driven to write> <she trys to rub my back and calm me down> <she cost me only ten dollars> <she was worth the sun> <i am almost done> When eyelids flutter and wetness builds Will she put her hand there only to yield I still will get home and pour the patron (overly refined tequilla) Write down more stories proving mine is better than the price of a jet fueled toppling nostrodamus quatrain (he called the fall of the twins in 1566) Even undressed her face says maybe As she licks my chest, and whispers, "sweet baby" And if it's liquor that she needs more of I'm gonna buy it when push comes to shove but she doesn't drink cuz she's muslim also i can't fuck her pussy... she's saving that for her husband.. that's why i remembered her most of all.. Because even in slumber while half asleep You must remember i'm the ultimate creep and if I'm impaled under your sun Remember, I bled there all for [sic] fun Maybe to show you that you've emptied my gun But won't I still know you when my death is undone? And when I roll the boulder as in rock From the mouth of my tomb Forget about a fourty-virgined-heaven I still have my loom So read this, and fuck it in the heart of your pit Cuz when you all were sleeping I tapped your minds with my kit My book's gonna send you Back into line The verses all flow In ways i can't bind So bite off the last bit Enjoy it well Because I know the truth And rest assured I'll never tell I label you common than take you to hell once when i was nine.. i found my dog bleeding and dying freshly car hit in the gutter.. there was a group of kids around it watching it whimper and choke on its smashed mouth... a little girl i recognized from class was poking it with a stick... her name was rumi... she was long-eye lashed and very pretty, but so was my dog...............