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Plug my Phone In (Haiku) by jessicazee

He's teaching school now, the elements the chart says, waking together coffee, chemistry ten morning minutes sacred before the bell rings two alarms chime on we parking ticket ourselves, your plug fits in mine

INTRANSIT 11-Sep-07/6:47 AM
Possible changes : replace -chemistry- it's understood in the previous line.

I think you can move -sacred- between ten and morning, and do no harm.

the parking ticket is clunky BUT interesting. Odd is good. Can you soften it a little?

The plug line bugs me. Too forward, I think.

Overall, I really like what you've built.




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