lmp26 Jun 2007

i do like the message, some of the similies are quite nice:
"top heavy with old", "stubbornly foreign".

the last stanza starts to lose some of the momentum, (maybe that's the point?), so the ending does fall a little flat.

however, i like the topic and the first stanza a lot, the second stanza is pretty good. a few tweaks and i think you'll have it.