Ranger8 Jun 2007

I like it, all except the exclamation mark at the very end. Turns it from being quite a maudlin piece into what seems like it's meant to be a joke.
Metrically I'd change 'remain' to 'stay', and maybe tweak the third stanza. Perhaps:
"I feel a little melancholy"
(whispered to
no-one in particular)
..."
etc.