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Bitter (Free verse) by Ranger

Anna's ghost can stalk this swamp Can stalk, for all I care For she left me and wandered off While I sat in despair For she left me and wandered off And never told me where Anna's ghost can see herself Reflected, white and wan In rusty stagnant water's froth A dirtied, dying swan In rusty stagnant water's froth A-weeping thereupon Anna's ghost can sit among The rotting twists of trees And pluck her ragged strands of hair Which billow in the breeze And pluck her ragged strands of hair In harp-string minor keys Anna's ghost can howl and moan In sorrow, at the moon For he's the only one who'll hear Such lonely banshee tunes For he's the only one who'll hear This song; a wood-score hewn Anna's ghost can curse the day She left my company For other folk who left her there With no road back to me For other folk who left her there To die in her degree

LilMsLadyPoet 11-Jan-07/9:05 PM
Hi there....seems you have been as reclusive as I. I'm just back in, as well. I am glad I found something from you upon my return. Now for my honesty...
The last line in s4 bugs me and doesn't work entirely. The caliber of the piece calls for something better there.
The last line needs changing, IMO. Perhaps 'to die by love's decree', 'my eyes to never see' 'my love to never see' (or 'taste') or simply 'no road back to me' (which would put a rather melancholy note to the end, making one wonder if he truly distains her so and to imply an ever so slight longing and sadness.)
You know I love your mind...this is fantastic and it shows your progress with rythm. I am also, as always, enchanted with the olde feel of these pieces. With this I see a more comfortable you going into a little darker place...you did it very well!




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