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Weather Poem part 4: Cleaning Day (Free verse) by nypoet22

"sometimes a lie is better than the truth even if you know it is a lie." __Weather Poem part 4: Cleaning Day__ Everyone mentions the weather. She was doing that dance that girls sometimes like to do, playing at indecision well after the decision had been made, as if it would make him like the outcome more if allowed to participate, hand-held down the path already paved as if his agreement could make it taste less like lemon peel pinched in the eye. "I still love you," she would say, her amber eyes staring off in some unknown direction. the day she told that blank lie was mild, with sunlight softly draped on each crest of the ocean.

Dovina 2-Oct-06/4:00 PM
I like this down through "pinched in the eye." Then it loses momentum. Maybe lose "at her direction." And "was mild" is, well, mild. Otherwise good.




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