Replying to a comment on:

Weather poem part 5: the cold dusk (Free verse) by nypoet22

Everyone mentions the weather, hurts when cut, bleeds real blood, cries gently. She scouted her next boyfriend from beside my bed; somewhere she knew this, knew what she had done. I watched it happen, breathed, carried boxes and feigned ignorance. Who played the bigger coward for not speaking out? All i know is wind cools the tears, night brings release and hell, i miss her.

nypoet22 1-Oct-06/12:01 PM
thank you much for your kind and frequent comments. taking into account your comments and others, i've pared down one stanza and revised my line breaks to flow more with the ideas of the story; see what you think of this version. i did notice the double entendre about hell, but that was after i wrote it, not before.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001