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Shadows In Your Eyes (Free verse) by PoeticJustice

A shadow in your eyes A smile that is fake A piece of your heart dies In a world that we make. The darkness in your mind, The stalker does ensue, Secrets I might never find, Things you never knew. A laugh that sounds so cold, Love thats hidden away, Your soul's already sold, All the things we'll never say. Our love becomes your pain, Your family comes apart, And now I'm driving you insain, And it's breaking up my heart. I try to hold it all in, I put you in this place, I sometimes wish we could start again, As the tears stream down your face. I want to make you smile, It's all become so tough, I can't pick up the phone or dial, Our hearts wonder if we're enough. My love for you will never end, I hope the pain will sink away, With all the kisses we send, Come to my heart and stay.

nypoet22 23-Sep-06/9:29 AM
agreed. this also needs something solid. too much telling about the feelings, not enough showing through actual acts and images.




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