nypoet2217 Sep 2006

the word Toons, while it may be true to your experience, sounds weird, brings in images of kids cartoons, which i think isn't what you want. i happen to think that most of this reads brilliant, and probably sounds even moreso when you perform it.
"barely soothed by the cheap malta flowin through my junkie veins" is definitely a line to keep. some tightening up might be called for, but i like the flow here a lot.