Replying to a comment on:

Dying Abroad (Triolet) by zodiac

Come home, girl, on a fractious day to the gravel road lined with fern. And I'll know (for my feet will have turned that way) that you've come home, girl, on a fractious day. Slip sibilant over the fields, so they will shimmer a moment, and burn with a feeling not unlike a fractious day on a gravel road lined with fern. I'll find you, boy, like an early snow on a field of uncut hay. God, I've missed the hay-smelling autumn, so I'll find you there, like an early snow from a stonewalled riverside town - so you'll know that I cannot stay, I cannot stay. If you'll wait for me, boy, like an early snow, in a field of uncut hay.

ALChemy 6-Sep-06/12:00 PM
"fractious day" reminds me of Jabberwocky.
"Slip sibilant over the fields" doesn't really make sense but "Slip over the sibilant fields" would.
The whole poem makes me think of the death scene at the end of Gladiator.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001