Woke up early. Right around sunset. Made myself a bowl of whiskey and cancer sticks. Ate it down and followed it up with a chasing screwdriver. Walked outside to my lemon colored motor tryke. Got on back and drove off onto the lake, four miles off the road. So here I am. Just sitting on the shore of this infernos they call a lake. When along comes this girl. She's selling her virginity. So I figure why not? After all that glow is kinda nice. So I no sooner have it than she becomes a whore. Being a new virgin and naive to what she had become she took it from me. Sourly disappointed I ran off in a huff. After walking for about an hour I reached the road. Being in foul temperament and naked I decide to use my thumb to get a ride. Along came a biker and he said hop on. Still retaining some of my naivety I decided against my better judgment and got on back. Shortly there after I was brought to this bar where he gathered with his pack. With hussed whispers they talked of things I hope I shall never come about. Sensing my own impending doom I quickly to my surroundings in. Smokey bar, with guards at the exits but none watching the bathroom. So I walk in proclaiming taking a leak, and whom should I meet? A man clearly not able to hold his liquor down past out on the floor. Much as I'd rather not I take his clothes and manage to fit them on. I then proceed to sneak out the window and walk out to where my host parked. I watched in terror as they pulled the drunken lout out and he was beaten and burnt screaming. They lit him up with Kerosene and set his body a flame with some left over nicotine. Oddly enough the police arrived shortly there after and I was put into a cage. Here I told my story and almost convinced them of my story when in came this shrink. Suddenly I was two feet tall and had lost my tongue. I ended up confessing to everything. So there after in the cell right next to me was this man selling me his dignity. For a cigarette and a favor I didn't intend to live up too, he let me have it. Shortly there after I managed to convince them I was insane. They put me alone in my cell and the shrink came to talk to me again. Once again I got two feet tall, but this time I ran out under all the bars and threw myself out the laundry shoot. In the laundry room I got to feeling better and grew back to normal size, and grabbed a guards uniform. I walked out and to this day none are the wiser. Muwhahahahahaha