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Slipping Outside (for a minute) (Free verse) by drnick

Before we get too high Before we get too high Before rippling water covers our eyes And after the dope-soaked cries We should learn to breathe first -carefully plan our trip below- Twist and feel our way in enter like a stiff rope. Night light hums above with silent dance and motion. Falling with the devastation of a snowflake on the ocean. A dream-sequence, retracting lights indicates we're closing scene -I tend to prefer the dark for it always hides the obscene. Kiss the air out from our lungs (there's no need to try). Lay back and relax, my friend, soon we'll slip outside. Just before we get high Right before we get high Before the rippling water covers our eyes And after the dope-soaked cries.

Ranger 28-Jul-06/12:11 AM
Actually I thought the snowflake passage was the best in the poem. This feels very much like song material; I'd change 'dope-soaked' though, it's too obvious. Make that bit more subtle and this is super.




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