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colourful cavalcade (Free verse) by pollywolly

a crimson cascade capers to the ground from the creaking branches above cavorting to create a crimson carpet on a crisp autumn morn

Ranger 1-May-06/3:08 PM
Beautiful picture, the rhythm of this could do with a little work. I'd try to replace the non-alliterated passages with ones which continue the alliteration. The reason being that the breaks disrupt the flow and slow it down whereas when it goes quickly I found it reminiscent of the leaves falling. Maybe 'canvas' instead of 'branches'? I'll leave the rest for others to suggest on if people agree with me.




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