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Murder Phoenix Born (meta-villanelle) (Villanelle) by Ranger

Pitched around inside this whirling fayre Quill-scratch scream - swift dart from lava flow A fallen leaf turns often in the air Thought of glory's talons in his hair Instead - a rosy skull, a cap of woe Pitched around inside this whirling fayre Across the burning hills he cried 'Beware The flash of early column light', as though A fallen leaf turns often in the air This small bird was cremated there Smoke-dawn lark encircled by grim crows Pitched around inside this whirling fayre There gathered flocks of ashes never shared Which would scatter like a broken stone A fallen leaf turns often in the air Quiet offer of a simple prayer Arrow feathered, hewn from speckled bone Pitched around inside this whirling fayre A fallen leaf turns often in the air

lmp 19-Apr-06/4:12 PM
this is so great....

question about line 8: "The flash of early column light"... would this be a little clearer as "The early flash of columnar light"? as in the column of light flashed too early, or it happens early, and beware the flash in general?

still amazing, and i know you want to refine it more to carry more meanings...

bravo, encore.




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