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Murder Phoenix Born (meta-villanelle) (Villanelle) by Ranger

Pitched around inside this whirling fayre Quill-scratch scream - swift dart from lava flow A fallen leaf turns often in the air Thought of glory's talons in his hair Instead - a rosy skull, a cap of woe Pitched around inside this whirling fayre Across the burning hills he cried 'Beware The flash of early column light', as though A fallen leaf turns often in the air This small bird was cremated there Smoke-dawn lark encircled by grim crows Pitched around inside this whirling fayre There gathered flocks of ashes never shared Which would scatter like a broken stone A fallen leaf turns often in the air Quiet offer of a simple prayer Arrow feathered, hewn from speckled bone Pitched around inside this whirling fayre A fallen leaf turns often in the air

lmp 18-Apr-06/2:21 PM
it works as complexedly as ever, to be sure. i did read this through once and had to cogitate on it a bit and come back again for a second read before commenting. in fact, after reading this i went to work on a villanelle myself, but i cannot publish until tomorrow evening. rrrgh!
at first i was suspecting the traditional phoenix myth, which you have captured, but throughout and especially in the last verse led me to believe i was witnessing a successful morning hunt. i am not sure what metaphor the arrow and the cedar bow play in either of the stories. the "swift dart from lava flow" works well for the space shuttle... perhaps the "arrow feathered, hewn from bone" may work to describe the misfortunate end of the astronauts (as well as rhyming a bit more precisely, but i am not picking on the "stone - bow" rhyme, either).
a very complex work, and wonderfully chosen words. the images are tangible, yet still morphing into the next line just as they are grasped.
also, i took the spelling of "fayre" to be archaic for "fire", or is it - as Dovina noted - for "fair"?




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