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a dream (Free verse) by lmp

lying on a grassy barrow, staring at the dark night sky, she noticed that the moon had risen, and its face seemed about to cry. she wondered at this luminous orb and the cause for its apparent woe. she could not bear to look on idly; unto the moon she had to go. when she approached she gently asked, "why do you look so sad? to shine amid the darkest sky; should that not make you glad?" the moon replied (if you can believe), "child, i am always all alone among the eternal darkess, with no friends to call my own." with that she reached out her own hand to comfort this sad celestial face. and when she withdrew her fingertips, they bore a luminous trace. she waved her arm and scattered wide countless drops of glittering light, and now the moon is not alone when rising to the sky at night.

lmp 14-Apr-06/6:51 AM
this is in fact based upon one of a series of stories i invented for and tell my 2 1/2 year old daughter. and yes, it should be HER arm...
knolls - to me - always instill a sense of "long ago" or a small hill that has been around for a very very long time. i don't think JFK's assassination should own the phrase for eternity, either. the word "mounds" always reminds me of dark chocolate over coconut, dirt, or baseball. ;P
i do agree with the comment about "looked" vs. "seemed". at first, i like the ambiguity - "looked about.... to cry" or "looked as if to cry". your note about causing the thought pattern to stumble is a good one; i will take it into advisement.

feel free to share this with your neice; in fact, i would be honored if you did. i hope she is doing better than your latest writing alluded to...




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