Replying to a comment on:
Dying for Your Sins
(
Free verse
) by
drnick
See this godless man, his head hung low as if he's self-crucified. All his sins, insecurities, regets -they find a way through his flesh. Let it all out in those rusted tears. They'll laugh, they'll cry, for two thousand-some years.
Dovina
24-Mar-06/11:52 AM
I think "he's" can be dropped. "insecurities" seems inconsistant with sins and regrets. I like "all his sins" written with no apology or explanation, as if all sins are his. The last line is very revealing.
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