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Navy Pier (Free verse) by matt door

Lake Michigan's soft ceaseless cobalt breakers, its dulcet breeze by the Beer Garden, in such peculiar concert with your silly laugh, blew your strawberry hair against my cheek, as I drank the rest of your warm Black & Tan, and stared at the shimmering of your freckled shoulder; half-concerned sweat and sun, could make such splendor.

ecargo 10-Mar-06/7:56 PM
I love it. My only suggestions: "it's" (line 3) should be "its"; and delete the period after laugh and lowercase "blew" (run-in), since it's modified by "breeze". Small stuff.




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