Replying to a comment on:

Portals to you (Free verse) by Caducus

Portals to you are a lint ghost on my sleeves from when I last held you on that dawn of twelve goodbye's. Portals to you are Stratford in alkaline my noir mortuary where love rests in peace. Portals to you are dreams that bring you back to me, before I wake and you are forced to sleep again. Portals to you are the ruby grave of whispers, vow's lost jewel which lived on my lips and died on yours.

Dovina 7-Mar-06/2:32 PM
Number disagreement in every verse but 3 i.e., plural/singular. Portals are lint ghosts, for example, not lint ghost. "twelve goodbye's" should be goodbyes. Some missing commas. But I like the dawn of 12 goodbyes.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001