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Under the Spoon (Free verse) by MacFrantic

I've gone into surgery Set limits on this perjury A hippocratic oath that Spills from hypocritic oafs And when I tumble under I should wonder if they plunder From the vault embodied here Without my wits Under the spoon I fear I'll never learn to trust Lust for feelings that I must And I may wake to see That seeing was commodity You have me I have not you Nor ability to sue Because I signed a waiver Uncertain of a certain savior Please just fill me up With gas until I pass And I will thank you later See you later Alligator

ecargo 3-Mar-06/11:14 AM
Funny. I don't mind random rhyming, but it gets awkward here and there--might kill some of the "just to rhyme" rhymes. Good flow and funny, like "under the spoon" as opposed to knife; yeah, alligator not quite it so you need a more punchy ending, IMO. Cool.




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