ecargo3 Mar 2006
Atlas, dreaming of a burden lifting--nice.
do you need the "silent toast"--maybe just go w/ beacon lit?
Could the mist. . . this gets a little garbled: could the mist . . . avail him (a flowing turn of white?)(verb form of avail can be transitive or intrasitive, so doesn't necessarily need an object but, nonetheless, this doesn't parse well.
I like the idea and the imagery a lot.