Ranger1 Mar 2006

Hmm, not bad. I'd cut the 'it was given that nickname due to...' bit; make the reader do a little work. I'd also cut the phone conversation bit (from 'he replied...')
You repeat 'huge steel pole', it would be more effective if you could give differing descriptions of it - maybe try and reflect the personalities of the characters in the way they see the pole.
Personally I'd take out the last paragraph and replace it with 'Together they fell.'
There's a lot more I could say about this, but it's a long piece so it's probably worth editing it a little at a time. Great promise though.
I'll give it a 7 for now, mainly because otherwise the comment counter won't work!