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Hailing Miriam (Free verse) by Ranger

Eight forty-three, it's Paris dreaming, Saint-Sulpice A city of gold behind linen sheet and beads And Miriam With a hint of morning in her eyes That tortoiseshell laugh She's a courtyard queen, a cafe light A Spanish dance - acoustic rhythm sweeping by Echo over stone; footfalls in Our Lady's Chamber With a pale flame and 'Hail Mary' Waiting for Miriam underneath the August sun To hear the tap on cobbled streets She loves to tango In the evening she'll whirl across the square To an open-air quartet A smile on her lips - ruby shine Three-inch heels As the sunset sets a flame on cross A hand extended like a lily reaching heavens Watching us all sail by Veiled Grail Hailing Mary Railing at the night to stay But Miriam finds herself under streetlights Lazy orbs of fire Reflections of the moon, its ferris spin She moves too soon But not gracelessly, beneath the arch where everything is new She thinks it's better with two A bench beside etched with scores of lovers She flies past hair a satin summer dress And beckons through the doorway The promise of incense Burning softly, hesitant sensation Where the light is gentle, there she will be Bathed in silk, blessed by musk She longs to be the crucifix To stop the innocence burning, yearning Pushing out the nails, trailing Hailing Mary Miriam The unforgiven, the beautiful Crying out for the passion As the darkness is failing, wailing Hailing Mary Lorelei no longer, reborn Hailing Mary

ecargo 28-Jan-06/2:31 PM
Lots to like, Ranger. This may be the best thing you've posted. "Reflections of the moon, its ferris spin" is a terrific line.

Some of the rhymes are distracting--seem the sort of thing you'd do in a first draft and maybe kill later.

Re: Lorelei, maybe go with Lilith or some other biblical character instead (to play off Mary) or someone in a similar role in French myth/lit (since it's Paris)?

Great energy to this.





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