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Racism 2 (Free verse) by Dovina

Retreating the cliché of suburb homogeneity, tired of yuppie hype, she gravitates against advice, like lightning to resentment’s rod, and comes by rail to LA’s inner core, with a twenty and a body, both kept close, mostly out of sight. The white patron wanders, alone in poor, non-white inner city streets, known for moral turpitude, shopping at the liquor store, the greasy hot-dog stand. Treated warmly and with courtesy, she thinks and almost says, quite a different way from how we treated you. Exemplary, is what they mean, she figures on the train, as in, we’d like the same in your hometown.

ecargo 15-Jan-06/9:18 AM
The main problem with this is too much telling, not enough showing. Dave Chappelle does a bit about being driven into the projects and knowing that's where they were headed because: "gun store, gun store, liquor store, gun store." That raises an immediate image, just those few words. That's what's missing here. More "liquor store,
the greasy hot-dog stand" and less narrative and blatant point-making.




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