Replying to a comment on:

Sunlighting (Free verse) by ALChemy

Swallows announce the end of yesterday. The morning girl awakens to their song. Her crayola sunrise paints over the gray of fading night to dawn a bright sarong, a flower-sprinkled emerald dress that stretches to the horizon’s hem and ripples in a warm wind’s caress: A playground for the cherubim. “Oh, Uncle Moon, please play with me, while the day’s still shining bright?” “I’m so tired but I’ll try Sweetpea.” And the moon missed work that night.

lmp 5-Jan-06/8:51 AM
and wasn't it Brando who was Don Carleone, as well?

i think leaving it as "dawn" is a wonderfully subtle play on words; i didn't even catch it when i read it the first time. maybe because she was donning whilst it was dawning. in fact, when the poem is read aloud, noone would be the wiser.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001