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Temptation (Free verse) by PoeticXTC

Speechless, I lay here wondering. Speak to me, for my mind is blank. Countless hours listening, silence is my only language. Uncontrolled feelings merging, but from where? This stranger has seduced my thirst to learn, to feel, to love again, unafraid to take a chance. He speaks the recognizable; my soul. My every want and need strays from his tongue and into my ears as if they were his own. Tingling through my ears, beating the drums to a new symphonic rhythm, subliminally serenading my desires. Without knowing; he speaks the language of my heart, sending a tickling sensation throughout my body, infecting me like a virus. Welcomed; the virus spreads, taking over my emotions, tempted. Denying refrain, I give in to temptation.

Dovina 20-Dec-05/7:35 PM
Try starting with Line 4 and omitting the first 3 lines. Also, the semicolons are distracting. For example, try, "He speaks the recognizable to my soul." and "Without knowing, he speaks the language of . . ."
I like, "My needs stray from his tongue."




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