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The Dreamhole (Free verse) by cyan9

Did you ever swallow, Looking too perfect When twins swiped in And held my soul. Did you ever reap it Running the circuit When twins swiped in, No I don't think so. Did you ever well I never Get yourself together. Did you ever well I never Think it would last forever. Did you ever hurt it Make yourself too perfect When angels dropped in And cleared my soul. Did you ever love it Alone in this bull ring When angels dropped in, Waiting for their hellos. <old one from 2001>

cyan9 25-Nov-05/7:08 AM
Its from I time when I had just discovered the use of embedded rhyming schemes in order to propell listeners through the poem. It is something made more for other people to hear, rather than for me to read. My criticism of it is that it uses too many rhyming words, and could do better with a bit of assonance, it is also quite difficult to understand what it is about.




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