Replying to a comment on:

phases of futility... (Free verse) by Bhaskaryya

I am to you but... Wind to the hill every touch changes course of my life and yet moves you not rain to the swan a delicate fantasy a seasoned mate but too much is never enough passing zephyr to the old oak that stirs up the leaves and after the momentary rustle loses itself within echoes of silence...

Dovina 10-Nov-05/12:10 PM
To pursue such a woman throughout life seems unimaginagle to me. The first verse works well. In the second, 'rain' seems a poor metaphor for a seasoned mate, and with your explanation, 'rain' seems inadequate a parallel for a thwarted love. The last verse, where leaves are memories, works well.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001