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never visit a diner twice (Free verse) by Bill Z Bub

The fries were dark and greasy, the tea- cloying and fruity. I left it all in the diner, and stepped out to the rain. White lines shone in slick nasty grins, and thoughts of you were left in the gutter.

Dovina 15-Oct-05/12:42 PM
No comma after diner. I think that "left in the gutter" makes the idea inconsistant. I'd leave out "left." Otherwise very concise and good.




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