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The End (Free verse) by Caducus

My author of ten nibs wrote biographies on me then read in my eyes the prologue of our love. When God wrote her ending each time I cried I became unreadable, a tragedy of blank pages. I have to end to continue all she left me was chapters, and I will remain closed waiting for my end of days. Sunset falls like 'Seppuku', spewing its end from its swords of light as nights mackintosh waits Like a reaper I had prayed for But lived because I promised her. If only I were closed If only I were Sunset I could fall skywards Into your arms Where I could set spectacular And in my eyes you'd see 'The End'

ALChemy 14-Oct-05/11:44 AM
First two lines don't make sense to me (Please explain) and you carry the metaphor for 3 verses and then abandon it for something completely different.
Should you lose the last line of S4? -Yes and also all of S4 and S5. Save most of S4 though for another poem. There's some good stuff in it. When every line in the first 3 stanzas are the same metaphor your kinda stuck with it and you got to stay with it.

Did you mean "Seppuku"?

Some real good lines in it though.




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