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Sleep (Sonnet) by ALChemy

Like shells under the ocean so we sleep. The powdered bed beneath our silhouette bellows jets of ghostly plumes into the deep. Unseen for here sunlight’s never let Blissful drowning I’ll struggle not for breath. Commend my soul to fly on your jet streams. Wash me ashore somewhere near Nazareth. For I am the messiah of my dreams. In shells for fetal slumber we once slept. From soul to womb all came and so return all. Rejoice, the holy covenant has been kept. For in the final dream we dream eternal. Till then each arising brings a reincarnation from all the things we are or've ever been.

INTRANSIT 11-Oct-05/9:20 AM
Don't worry about the title clashing with mine. two different sleeps. You have more periods than you need.
I would: Line 6-comma,line seven-delete period,9 delete period,11 and 12 delete periods. Till then? I think that can go too. Let the reins out a little.




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