Replying to a comment on:

Quietus Proprietus (Free verse) by INTRANSIT

You should have seen her, though her Tiffany time had stopped she was in the perfect autumn ensemble ! Her pleated russet Votre-Nom slacks flowed as she kicked her tumbleweed Nine- West shoes proudly strutting out of Saks Fifth ave wearing a pumpkin Ralph Lauren sweater; a soulful salve. And neatly tucked under her arm an olive hand bag: Fendi. But none of it could defend her against the cold black Lincoln fender that made all of the pretty October colors scatter.

zodiac 26-Aug-05/6:45 AM
No, you shouldn't. It's bordering on overcleverness now (you know the kind: the turn-of-phrase or hidden rhyme won't fit in the poem but you just can't stop yourself from including it.)

I like all of this except "she was in the perfect autumn ensemble"




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001