Poemranker [Replying] Sat Nov 23 22:41:21 PST 2024

Replying to a comment on:

SO LONG MY BELOVED (Free verse) by prettyktm

So long my beloved I'm going to fight A war which isn't mine But a man has got to do His duites you see So save your tears For the better time So long my beloved Thanks for the food Thanks for the wine Kiss me now,kiss me warm 'Cause they'll help me In the winter time And keep me alive in your heart 'Cause I don't know when I've be back So long my beloved Pray for me and for this time Say a prayer for the enemies too 'Cause they're even humans Just like me and you And don't cry when I'm gone Just remember this isn't my war.

zodiac

4-Aug-05/12:11 AM

Of course not. I was being silly. And I understand wanting to write about everything, but... well, do you see the difference between the two following poems?

HAIKU #1
Farewell, I'm off to
butcher baby seals. I mean,
folks need sealskin coats.

HAIKU #2
Off to seal-killing.
Can't have folks without coats, right?
I'm a stupid git.

Anyway, in the first you get the idea that the guy talking is right. In the second you get the correct view (which happens to be my real view), that seal-butchering is wrong. I don't see why I'd want to write the first one and not say what I thought when it would be just as easy to write the second one and say what I thought, right? Yes, I'm exaggerating, but the same thing goes for your war poem.

And no, the 'Pray for me and for the enemies too' line doesn't make up for it. That just means he knows he's killing guys just like him, who'd rather not be there, and he's doing it anyway. Why? Because he assumes, like everybody, that there's got to be war and you've got to go cause it's your duty. I disagree. If people weren't soldiers, there couldn't be war.

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