Replying to a comment on:

Smoky Mountain High (Free verse) by Dovina

A river rolls along, slow in orange afternoon haze Sun rises a ball of red in Mississippi Valley Folks there hardly notice or think it strange when summer follows rain Meanwhile, for all those swollen bushes briars, brambles and weeds overwatered, drying fast on San Gabriel slopes likely come summer’s answer— hot pink evenings orange nighttime ridges lovely in firestorm glow when ashes of burned lives fall like rain and sun rises bloody, unfamiliar in yellow murk and we’ll not call it ebb or flow or rain’s result but think it strange

ALChemy 8-Jun-05/1:55 PM
I'm not sure "likely" in verse 2 is necessary. I like the change in tone in the last verse.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001